Jackie Chan and Why I Need Therapy:

Hey, Hungary!
       (So, basically you've already read this story from my email. This is mostly for some friends that read this and also so we can remember this incident as a teaching moment. Also, probably so we can look back on it and laugh after all psychiatrist's bills have been payed off.)

So outside of the normal birthday adventures of Jacqui poo (sorry bout the language)  and I going to the Cafe Rio, Jackie Chan brought me over the gift to end all gifts. And that's "end"as in I might never want another present in my life. 

      Ok so once upon a time, Jackie Chan shows up at our house with a birthday present. Thinking this was totally normal, it WAS my birthday after all, I took the package and began to open it. Only, I start to hesitate because through the wrinkling of the wrapping paper I can hear her whisper, "Don't sleep with it."

             ...This is something you DO NOT want to hear while opening a present from a close friend. (The "close" part is crucial because if it's just a friend/acquaintance then it's probably something normal and you can just laugh and move on. If it's a close friend, however, they will feel no qualms about being unbearably mischievous.)

          Now a little unnerved, I resume opening the package. 

         It  moved. 

                And then it....... giggled. It wasn't even a cute giggle either. It was the kind of giggle you absolutely don't want to hear when you're alone and it's three in the morning. 

      I think it's safe to say that I was a little bit completely creeped out by this point. But I'd already started the unwrapping ritual and she was waiting for my reaction. And so bravely I forged on. 

    When at last the paper came off, the present was starting at me. You know, the don't-blink-because-I'll-creep-up-on-you-in-the-night-and-haunt-your-dreams-even-when-you're-not-sleeping kind of stare. 

      It was a baby doll with a face of a Satan cherub, complete with mechanical moving legs so it can come sneak up on you along with the built in motion sensor so it can know when your parents are around and turn back into a "doll" and mindlessly giggle the sad tale of your fate. 

     I swear, there's a special kind of insane asylum for people who've owned these things.   EVERY time you move it giggles. EVERY TIME. 

Which leads me to my next topic of discussion: who do you want to get revenge (aka pranks) on? ! 

Um. ..So have a lovely week. Hope we're all alive and sane when we next hear from you. 

Love, America

Second Best Day of the Year:

Hey, Hungary!
   (You realize I only say "second" best because obviously Christmas comes first.)

So! It was ma burrfday this week. It's official. I can now legally do magic outside of school! And if it were not considered impolite, I definitely would be disapperating all around the house.
       Also, apparently I'm super popular because my phone kept going off all morning. (Literally all morning, like starting at midnight.)
        And then when I went to sleep, I had this dream that Micah and David and the kiddos were over (and you were home) and JJ found your mascara and started putting it on and you were all, "Jeannine! ....let's go do your make-up." And as you took her away the phone started ringing except that was in real life and I woke up and it was Micah calling to sing happy birthday with Jeannie to me.
    It was so super cute! And then after they were done singing, Jeannie went to go play and all through the rest of the phone call you could hear Jeannie in the background going, "Happy birthday....BECCA! Happy birthday to...beCCA! Happy ...day...BECCA!" And, boy, if that wasn't the cutest thing ever, I don't know what is.
   The parents made some German pancakes for breakfast, which was super nice. (I could kinda hear them upstairs and I dreamt they were making hashbrowns but they wouldn't work so they made it into potato casserole instead.)
  Then later in the day, Natalie came to kidnap me to lunch. We couldn't decide where to go so we were driving around and then suddenly she says, "Oh! I know what we're gonna do!"
     Build a Bear. We went to Build a Bear. We built a bear. We also (after) proceeded to the restaurant and sat them next to us in their fancy carry-out cardboard coloring boxes. We also consulted Josh (our super hilarious server dude at the California Pizza Kitchen) as to what Natalie's bear's name should be. 

      And get this: half of our meal was like totally FREE! They gave us a free ice cream sundae (for because it was my burrfday and the Build a Bear people had given me a burrfday sticker) and also Natalie signed up for their rewards thing because we could get a free appetizer. (Look at us being all savy.)   

     And then after that super cool adventure, we came back to our house and ate cake and ice cream while coloring on our boxes and listening to the tunes. It was FABULOUS. #bestest burrfday ever. 

(His name is Cap)

And then on Wednesday, Jacqui and I went out to the Cafe of Rio (as she calls it) and drove over to Rotary Park and had a fun little birthday picnic. It was so nice of her! She really is wonderful and basically the bestest cousin ever. She drew me this cutest card. 

Basically I had the best birthday. Thanks for listening, and I hope everything is well over there. Don't forget to eat extra cake for me.

Love, America.